While perusing Urbandictionary.com, I quickly realized the web site is lacking on sexual terms for women. No, not things like Superman that hoe or angry pirate, I’m talking about phrases that are the equivalent to M.I.L.F.
Yeah, sure, we women have D.I.L.F. (Dad I’d Like to Fuck) and silver fox (old man with gray hair I’d like to fuck). But where’s the originality? Where is the underlying racism?
Seeing as I’m such a creative racist, I’ve taken the liberty to coin a few terms, which are all pretty much the same, but whatever they are still awesome. It’s time to be more organized with our sexual relations. And quite honestly, more racist.
1. B.G.I.F.
Now this one is my favorite and coined by my best friend and I. We all have that one Black Guy I’d Fuck. We’ve all seen him. We’ve all stared at him like a Mexican construction worker. He’s beautiful. He’s burly. And yes ladies, He’s black. He’s the Terrance Howard’s of the world. The Danny Glover’s. What? Don't judge (or I'll call you a racist) have you not seen Lethal Weapon 4?
2. J.I.L.F.
Again, same concept as B.G.I.F., different stereotype. Jew I’d Like to Fuck. Oh, John Stewart you beautiful, beautiful Jew. And Paul Rudd, your Judaism is just spectacular. And if any woman says they wouldn’t want to have a little S &M with these men, well then quite frankly, I don’t believe you like penises.
3. A.M.A.R.I.R.L.F
Now this one is pure genius: Any Man of Any Race I’d Really Like to Fuck. If you are ashamed of your racism, then this is the term for you! How is it racist, if you combined every race in one term? God. I love loopholes.
Each breed brings a different, I guess you could say, experience, in a woman’s sexual life. This is a scientific fact, mastered over thousands of years, by woman just like you. There is a caste system in the sexual realm. Know your role. Know your role.
That is awesome.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many women have thought of me as a DILF? I know it is probably just about 1.
ha ha J.I.L.F
ReplyDeleteI love Paul Rudd, Love is a huge understatement,
But I think you hit exactly what I want from him.
Peace and Love,
D
Women everywhere are buzzing over the latest one: S.D.K.I.L.F.
ReplyDeleteA.W.A.R.I.R.L.F - 365-6 a year and counting. ;)
ReplyDeletehahaha!! A few weeks ago my sister started dating this new (white) guy, and she really liked him. He was ready to be exclusive, and when I asked my sis what was holding her back, she told me she just wasn't sure if she was ready to stop fucking black guys. What can I say, she loves the BBC!
ReplyDeleteLOL, Shady! Bad bad boy.
ReplyDeleteNat, darling. Of course you're brilling. J.I.L.F..... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
oooh, paul rudd. yes please. i watched clueless with my boyfriend last weekend, and it was kinda starting to bug him how incredibly hot i found josh.
ReplyDeleteas for dating terms: people like to put things in little boxes. the sooner we all realize it, the happier we are.
and no, the double-entendre was not intentional.
After reading Tia's comment I'm a little worried. When my daughter informed me recently that she made the switch to BBC, I thought she was talking about the British Broadcasting Corporation!
ReplyDeleteI totally have always had like three J.I.L.F....and i never knew what to call them! now i do. thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteBGIF and JILF? You are a genius for coining these delicious acronyms which will now be utilized in my every-day conversation. Especially JILF... I've always had a weird hottitude for Jews... *rawr*
ReplyDeleteDid somebody say Paul Rudd!? So hot!
ReplyDeleteI've always been fond of the B.G.I.F....but mine is bald guy i'd fuck. Just me.
Wow how do you even remember the last one? I got dizzy trying to look at that section.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
I've been really into Asians lately. And Indians ever since that pesky Taj incident. So I'm going to add A.I.L.F and I.I.L.F to the list. Mmm... Asians...
ReplyDeleteI live for posts like these. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you're a total BILR. See if you can figure that out.
I just realized that could be a threatening acronym. Let me clarify: Blogger I Like to Read.
ReplyDeletedang i was totally going to guess that lightning bugs butt!
ReplyDeleteHurray for Racism!
ReplyDeleteWhat about W.M.I.L.F. white man I like to fuck? I love some white men but A.M.A.R.I.R.L.F will do too lol
ReplyDeleteYou are an idiot for this post lol! I like the last one because I have had my share of black guys... Well that's all I had but is it wrong for me to say that white or lighter skinned guys dicks look like raw chicken? I mean idk it's all pink and blue. I have found out what my guest post is going to be for you! After like 3 months... It's going to be entitled: IDK LOL! Ill email you though.
ReplyDeleteI've been told I'm a GILF.
ReplyDeleteoh, i definitely have some j.i.l.f.'s on my list <3 DEFINITELY!!
ReplyDeletei'm not really into black dudes but idris elba could make any girl wet <3
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ReplyDelete